You love Cardiacs because you weren’t born yesterday and know very few people who were.
Before hearing Cardiacs you had difficulty making eye contact with strangers. Once you had heard them you found it damn near impossible.
Your love for Cardiacs has interfered with your day to day life. Those you once called friends have taken to screening your phone calls and often ignore you in passing.
At Cardiacs concerts you like to be right in front of the stage, even if it means shoving those weaker than yourself out of the way. You go on about this constantly in the weeks that follow.
You are ashamed of this.
Sometimes you are beside yourself, occasionally you are upside down. The world is full of enormous colours and beautiful smells. All of these are noted carefully into a little logbook that you always carry around with you.
You have made neat headings on each page.
When it rains you are soaked through and don’t mind one bit.
You rejoice in your dampness.
Sometimes when you are nailing something together you bash your fingers with your hammer and curse this whole sorry existence.
You are unafraid to try new and exciting experiences and have a reputation for being a Dare devil. When warned about impending danger you shrug the advice off.
Your irresponsibility constantly gets you into scrapes that cannot be simply put down to inexperience. You show scant concern for those who have your best interests at heart and have sold many a confidante down the river, exaggerating stories given in trust, twisting events to your advantage and peddling out-and-out lies about your colleagues.
You enjoy a challenge and mind little if you are made to look foolish by biting off more than you can chew.
Your beautiful eyes are bigger than your stomach.
While change frightens you, you feel that stagnancy is a most dangerous state of mind.
You once claimed to be both the agent of chaos AND the rod of destiny.
You are the Lion of the Lord’s Elect.
Where others find peril you see liberation.
Where others seek oblivion you find enlightenment.
The words ‘No Entry’ mean nothing to you.
You walk as a giant in a blurry world of shadows.
You are the pleasant gust that banishes foetidness.
You are a fiery beacon illuminating the path for others.
You are a safe port for the troubled to shipwreck in.
Your opinions are held as suspect amongst your peer group.
You have displayed humility in defeat, yet are
considered, by most, a sore loser.